CritiqueExtensionFeatureStory

Here's my critique of Monica's lede for her feature story: “7 Things Mothers Really Want For Mother Day”

“I'm very excited to read your piece when it comes - with the title and then the following paragraphs, you set up an expectation that most people might have about Mother's Day (giving gifts to show appreciation), but then turn it around by delving deeper into an issue about motherhood that's very impactful for many. While I'm not a mother obviously, I'm invested in this because I have a mother, and some of my friends want to be mothers. How can I support my friends as such? So it's a great topic to cover and help others understand. I don't really have any suggestions, but I guess I didn't immediately understand what you meant by support until I reread the post-partum part and then the 7 things that you outlined. Maybe make that connection clearer?

as an aside, three of my friends started an engineering startup focused on treating perinatal and anxiety disorders called Hapty Hearts. they designed this cool blanket for mothers and their babies! I don't know if it's still going, since two out of the three have graduated. http://www.haptyhearts.com/ By coincidence, their four year anniversary was a few days ago.

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Kritin Karkare
Bioinformatics Staff Research Associate

I bring bioinformatics to beginners. San Diego based, Thai-Indian American science journalist. Likes Pokemon, Science communication and asking too many questions, not necessarily in that order.